Critical Reflection #5: Making Friends is Hard

At my field placement I have witnessed some bullying among the kids with various disabilities. They often like to tell one of the students that she is stupid, that she needs to shut up, and that no one likes her. Although the teacher tries to get the students to be nice to the girl, they all seem to keep bullying her and I have witnessed this on multiple occasions, all of which I reported to the teacher. So, this got me wondering, because it has even been said in class that students with disabilities have a hard time making and keeping friends, how can we teach students to make friends and to engage in meaningful reciprocal relationships?

The First article that I found on the topic was this one : Helping the Socially Isolated Child Make Friends | LD OnLine. And it basically said that in order for a child with learning disabilities to make friends, they must first understand the nature of friendship. This can be everything from intimacy, affection, and loyalty to similarity and proximity, to reciprocity and support. Although it is written mainly for those with learning disabilities, it can easily be applied to any socially isolated child, including those with autism.

I also found this video about a distinguished professor who is helping kids make and keep friends and uses developmental milestones and direct instruction of social skills to help kids understand the fundamental aspects of having and keeping friends.

Then finally I found this article which was put out by the Michigan Department of Education Office of Special Education  and Early Intervention Services called:
Study Explores How Children With Disabilities Make Friends: How Can Parents and School Personnel Help?   It was a study about children with disabilities  and making friends and it also gave suggestions on how to encourage socialization in students. The suggestions that the article made were for teachers and parents to:

• Find out the factors important to your individual child’s quality of life and let the child have a reasonable amount of input—don’t buy video games for a child who wants to play soccer, but if all a child wants to do is play video games (as many are prone to do), don’t over-indulge. Try to steer children toward more social activities with family or friends.

• Children with disabilities find that they need physical play to improve their quality of life. Search for adapted sports in your area. Find ways for your child to be active and to play. Therapy sessions can provide opportunities for play and interaction. Therapists can make exercises into games that feel like play. Bring friends to therapy sessions.
• In the school setting, it is important that a child with disabilities not be isolated. It is important for  teachers to discourage any behavior in class that can lead a child to feel isolated. Aides need to be especially aware of the need to integrate the child socially, asking other children to help with school work, when possible.
• Work on socialization in the home as well. Arrange play dates whenever possible—even once a month. Promote social interactions by enrolling children in activities they enjoy.



I noticed that the third suggestion in the article sounded a lot like what we discussed in class about the little boy who didn't know how to play a game in gym class and typically relied on his TSS to tell him what to do. Eventually the TSS realized that she couldn't allow him to ignore other people who talk to him so instead of telling the boy the directions to the game, she found a classmate who was in the gym class to explain the directions for him and show him how to play. This then shifted his reliance on adults to socialization with peers.